January 13, 2013 by kamify

People marry for many reasons,some for love some for just having children some because the dude is rich,some because all her friends are married and some because it’s a family wish.Back in the 60s,70s marriages are for better for worst but these days most marriages has been infected by infidelity, divorce rate between  couples are getting higher every year.Infidelity has been the major role in most broken homes and this has effect why most couples are called as SINGLE BUT MARRIED.

I have been married for 3 years but honestly judging from experiences I have seen and saw I begin to notice that at a point  in marriage that things starts to change after these stages

1.After the First Year of Marriage

2.After the First Child is Born

These stages are when I find out that  infidelity start to craw inside the home.Children change a relationship no matter how you look at it. And the first child is always more traumatic than the rest. It brings about stress, fatigue, and the need to give the majority of your attention to someone other than your husband or wife. While affairs after the first year of marriage are brought about by an individuals feelings towards himself or herself, affairs after the first child are brought on by the couples feelings towards each other.Sometimes men feels their wife has grown out of shape,others can be  not having the amount of sexual satisfaction by their partner.


Honestly speaking 90% reason why men cheat is for the aim of sex.Many men loss a lot of sexual desire for their wives after children are born…or even after witnessing their wives give birth. Their wives, to them, no longer appear as sex objects, but rather maternal figure.

Another reason is lack of fun in a relationship,sexual appeal,not an adventure as it once was in the beginning  but simply to an end, they seek that adventure with another woman.

Another reason which I think is foolish is more biology related…the need to conquer. “ego”. It’s reported that many men will seek sex outside of a relationship simply to see if they can do it. To see if they can convince a woman they are attracted to…to sleep with them.

All these reasons above are all based on experiences witnessed by some friends i had in the past,there might be more to that.


Why Did My Partner Cheat?

Now lets look at the other side ,women on why they cheat but looking at its angle most women don’t cheat because of sex rather  it’s for an emotional connection.

In more than a few instances, women won’t even cheat physically. They will carry on emotional affairs…where they’ll fall in love and experience emotional intimacy with a man, while never taking it to the physical level. It’s these type of affairs that can continue on for years, without ever being detected, and often leaving a wake of destruction in their path.Thus the longing for a man who can “see who they are” begins. And in the weeks, months or even years that follow, they will usually find such a man – or think they’ve found one. An interesting point to takeaway of this female need for an “emotional bond” : affairs initiated by women generally last 3 times long than those initiated by men.

Though it’s tough to get reliable infidelity statistic because who really wants to admit cheating to a researcher like me .Everyone claims to be innocent of infidelity but the question now is can marriage really survive infidelity?

Written by Kamify


9 thoughts on “SINGLE BUT MARRIED

  1. smilecalm says:

    Nice sharing! Takes time understand ours, and other’s, habit energy. May all feel happy and safe in their heart.

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